Fears and expectations that date back to earlier experiences of dependency, but that didn't arise during courtship or dating, are activated as commitment to the relationship increases. As a result, partners start to anticipate the worst, not the best from their relationship.

Stan Tatkin
About This Quote

Although most of us believe that we know what love is, the truth is that we have a limited understanding of this emotion. In fact, we often think of love as an emotion that is distinct from other emotions. In reality, all emotions are the same, even love itself. When we feel sad or lonely or happy, these feelings are all caused by the same things: the brain's chemistry.

The physical chemicals that make up your brain can be changed by a number of things, including your environment and the way you live your life. One thing that psychologists have found to play a major role in how you feel about yourself is the chemicals associated with .

Source: Wired For Love: How Understanding Your Partners Brain And Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict And Build A Secure Relationship

Some Similar Quotes
  1. I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe
  2. You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth. - William W. Purkey
  3. You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. - Dr. Seuss
  4. A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you. - Elbert Hubbard
  5. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. - Unknown
More Quotes By Stan Tatkin
  1. When we enter into a relationship, we want to matter to our partner, to be visible and important.... We want to know our efforts are noticed and appreciated. We want to know our relationship is regarded as important by our partner and will not be...
  2. Fears and expectations that date back to earlier experiences of dependency, but that didn't arise during courtship or dating, are activated as commitment to the relationship increases. As a result, partners start to anticipate the worst, not the best from their relationship.
  3. Devote yourself to your partner's sense of safety and security and not simply to your idea about what that should be. What may make you feel safe and secure may not be what your partner requires from you. Your job is to know what matters...
  4. The couple bubble is an agreement to put the relationship before anything and everything else. It means putting your partner's well-being, self-esteem and distress relief first. And it means your partner does the same for you. You both agree to do it for each other....
  5. Couples in distress too often turn to solutions that can be summed up by "You do your thing and I'll do my thing" or "You take care of yourself and I'll take care of myself." We hear pop psychology pronouncements such as "I'm not ready...
Related Topics